Sunday, April 5, 2009

FOREST GUMP EXPLAINS THE MORTGAGE MESS

Mortgage Backed Securities are like boxes of chocolates.

Criminals on Wall Street stole a few chocolates from the boxes and replaced them with turds. Their criminal buddies at Standard & Poor rated these boxes AAA Investment Grade chocolates. These boxes were then sold all over the world to investors. Eventually somebody bites into a turd and discovers the crime.

Suddenly nobody trusts American chocolates anymore worldwide. Congress now wants the American taxpayers to buy up and hold all these boxes of turd-infested chocolates for $700 billion dollars until the market for turds returns to normal.

Meanwhile, the Wall Street criminals who stole all the good chocolates are not being investigated, arrested, or indicted.

Mama always said: 'Sniff the chocolates first, Forrest'.

Quote of the day from a fund manager: "This is worse than a divorce... I've lost half of my net worth and I still have my wife."

The bailout, a different perspective. Back in 1990, the Federal Government seized the Mustang Ranch brothel in Nevada for tax evasion and, as required by law, tried to run it. They failed and it closed. Now we are trusting the economy of our country to a pack of nit-wits in Congress who couldn't make money running a whore house and selling booze?

Run, Forrest, run!

By Guest Columnist Geoff Frisch of Frisch Ideas, Atlanta, GA

5 comments:

  1. Didn't study the financial mess too hard, huh?

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  2. Naw. Forest was never known for his towering intellect.

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  3. I love it! As a loss mitigation strategist and loan modification expert, I have seen it all :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. As usual, Hank hits the nail on the head. I love it.

    ReplyDelete

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