TEN COMMON ENEMIES (4)

By Hank Trisler

Our poor listening skills lead us to:

ASSUMING WE KNOW WHAT'S ON THE CUSTOMER'S MIND

We haven’t been listening to the customer because we’ve been thinking about what we’ll say when it’s our turn to talk, so how can we possibly know what’s on her mind? We can’t, so we assume what is on her mind because we know what should be on her mind.

The pay is far higher for asking the right questions than for knowing the right answers. Actually, no one cares how much you know until they know how much you care about them and their problems.

Assuming we know what's on the customer's mind leads us to the most ripely perverse behavior imaginable. We babble on about things that interest us, leading us to believe they also interest the customer. We will discuss this in nauseating detail the next time we chat, as I assume you should be interested in it.

Meanwhile, please let me know what's actually on your mind.

TEN COMMON ENEMIES (3)

By Hank Trisler

Because we have been busily talking too much, we have developed,

POOR LISTENING HABITS

Annie Lebowitz wrote, "The opposite of talking is not listening, the opposite of talking is waiting."

The best salespeople talk 20% of the time and listen 80% of the time and when they listen, they listen actively, with every cell in their bodies. They lean forward. They hold eye contact, with eyes wide open (receive), rather than narrowed (transmit).

They rephrase what the customer is saying frequently and ask clarifying questions to be sure they’re hearing correctly. They make note of those items of particular interest to the customer for use later and to keep them on track.

Short questions normally get you short answers, while long questions get you longer answers. Longer answers are usually better, as the customer has to talk more to get them out. There is a problem with long questions which you may have encountered. Sometimes the customer doesn't understand them, because he wasn't listening either. He may evidence this by saying, "Huh?" Then you're going to have to revert to shorter questions to get the train back on the track.

Listening is simply not a behavior we are taught. We are taught to speak, not to listen.

• Management says: "My employees don't listen to anything I say. They should be able to do things right the first time.



• "Workers say: "If those managers would just listen to me, I have their profit up 20% in a month."



• Women say: "My husband never listens to me. He just grabs a beer and heads for the TV."



• Men say: "She never listens to me. All she wants to do is talk about the kids and her friends."



• Parents say: "Idiot kids won't listen. They have to make all the same mistakes for themselves."



• Kids say: "My folks look right through me. It's like talking to a wall. They're just not interested."

You get the idea. People are simply not used to listening, nor are they used to being listened to. If you truly, really, actually listen, you will set yourself above the mass of yammering people and learn some very valuable things in the bargain. You might even find out something about your family.

Please share with us your opinions on listening and any tips you have learned to make listening easier.

TEN COMMON ENEMIES (2)

By Hank Trisler

Because our ego is out of control, we come upon our second enemy, we:

TALK TOO MUCH

We go to a sales meeting and get all the latest red-hot product data and see all the new offerings, then run back home and tell everyone who will sit still long enough about them. It’s called a "data dump." The simple fact is that most of our customers don’t give a damn about how well we know our products. They are concerned with their own problems and how to solve them.

This must be a very difficult enemy, as so few of us seem to deal with it well. At nearly every sales conference I attend, someone will ask me "What single thing do most salespeople do wrong?"

I invariably reply, "They talk too much."

"You’re absolutely right," they say. "I’m constantly telling our new guys that they have one mouth and two ears and they should be used proportionately. Samson slew a thousand men with the jawbone of an ass and at least that many sales get killed every day with the very same instrument, blah, blah, blah, yabbita, yabbita." They are off and running for the better part of an hour, telling stories about other people who talk too much.

If you're talking to a customer any you see their eyes glaze over, sort of like a fish, there is a possibility they are no longer listening to you. Just stop talking, right in the middle of your sent... You will often find that the customer will immediately begin to talk about whatever was on his mind. See didn't even hear what you were saying, he just knows it got quiet and that must mean it's his turn to talk, and talk he does.

I ask you, if the customers aren't going to listen, why bother talking?

Silence is uncomfortable, as it's a form of vacuum. Nature abhors a vacuum and words will always rush in to fill the vacuum of silence. If those words are yours, you're likely to lose in the sales arena.

Whenever you ask a question of a customer, shut the hell up and listen to the answer. The average salesperson might say something like, "How soon do you need delivery? What I mean is are you in a big hurry, or would a month be too long. What I mean is, are you comfortable with your ..., blah, blah, blah."

Good God, the poor customer is still trying to figure out what the first question was and the sales critter is blabbing along because he's terrified of silence. Don't be afraid of silence. Silence is your friend. There is enormous pressure in silence, not only on us, but on the customer, as well.

When you ask a question, shut up and count, "1, 2, 3, 4,..." NOT OUT LOUD. Just do it to yourself. If you count, you'll have something on which to focus other than the deafening silence. You can shut up if you just concentrate on counting.

Counting also helps you measure the training you're doing with your customer. If it used to take him 30 seconds to answer a question, and now he's answering in 15 seconds, your training is progressing nicely. People treat us the way we have trained them to treat us. If you don't like the treatment, change the training. Ah, but that's another story for another day.

If you think you don’t talk too much, ask your family and very close friends, "Do you think I talk too much?" The answers might shock you. They certainly shocked me.

Think about how you can employ silence to improve your selling and tell us about it below.

TEN COMMON ENEMIES (1)

By Hank Trisler

There are ten common enemies that salespeople must constantly battle. If even one overcomes us, success becomes very difficult. If several overcome us, we’re doomed.

With few exceptions, the other nine seem to stem from the first. Defeat the first enemy and the rest surrender rather meekly, but make no mistake, the first enemy is a cunning brute. The first and most formidable enemy we must contest is:

OUR EGO

Our ego tells us that we know what’s best for the customer and if he has good sense that God gave a goose, he’ll do what we tell him. We are experts in the field and what we have to say is more important than what the customer has to say.

The biggest problem with the disease of ego, is that, like alzheimers, it affects everyone around him more than the person who is afflicted. It's tough to solve a problem you don't believe you have.

The egoist is far more eager to talk than to listen and prefers the topic of himself to all others. "I want to get to know you a little bit better, so I can tell you all about me." If you think there may be a possibility that you're talking too much about yourself, you almost certainly are.

A well-developed ego is probably what drew us to selling in the first instance, and is necessary for achievement of our goals, but unless carefully controlled, it can cause us to be a bore and flush out of selling.

When next we chat, it will be about the second in our string of enemies. Until then, please give me your thoughts on ego, its drawbacks and benefits.