There are few things we can correctly say about all people, but one of them is: All people need support. We need other people to agree with us and tell us we’re okay and we need this from the very day we are born.
You remember what that was like, don’t you? You don’t? How inconvenient. Fortunately I remember what it was like to be born, as I’m gifted with total recall. For purposes of this discussion, I’m going to refresh your memory by telling you what it was like.I had been bumping along for about nine months—give or take a few—and I was doing alright. It was dark and warm and soft. No bright lights, loud noises or sharp things to poke me. I was not anticipating any major changes.
Then the wheels came off. I was on the outside on a cold steel table with bright lights in my little pink eyes and lots of loud noises. People screaming; mostly me. A man in a white coat hung me up by the heels and beat me. I was deeply distressed and so were you, remember?Then the unkindest cut of all.
That fool in the white coat cut my umbilical cord and removed my support system. This was a highly traumatic experience and I didn’t like it one damned bit.But then started the good news. Someone wrapped me in a warm blanket and cuddled me for a minute before passing me to Mom. She held me for a long while, then handed me over to Dad. He was so proud. “Look, Honey. The baby has my smile,” he said.
Mom replied, “You’re holding him upside down.”Thus began my need for support. I dearly loved being held and cuddled and that carries over to today.
Our customers need someone to support and agree with them, too. You’ll sell more with less resistance and in less time if that someone is you.When I was at General Motors Institute in 1956, the Buick Motor Division ran a fascinating study called “The Kinetic Light Experiment.” The objective was to determine how much support from another person it would take to lock an idea solidly in a person’s mind.
They put 100 people in a darkened theater and shown a spot of light on the screen. They moved the spot up and down a couple of times, then asked each person, in turn, whether or not the spot had moved.All 100 of them said, “No, the light had not moved,” even though it clearly had.
You see, 99 of these people had been instructed to say that the light had not moved, regardless of what they saw. The single person who had no such instruction wasn’t about to say it moved when 99 other people had said it didn’t move. “Absolutely not, pal. That puppy never moved a millimeter.”Absent support from others, he refused to believe the evidence supplied by his own eyes.
The psychologists repeated the experiment with another group, but this time only 98 people were instructed to lie. The two people who were “straight” both said the light had moved and could not be dissuaded from that position.The support of only ONE other person made their opinions locked in granite.
Here’s the key to friction-free selling: You SUPPORT those statements made by your customer that take you closer to your sales goal and you WITHHOLD SUPPORT from those statements that take you away from your sales goal.The customer says the car is stylish, you agree and compliment him on his taste. He says the price is too high, you shut up.
Arguing is a form of negative support. If you argue with me, I need to argue back to defend my position and in so doing, I lock myself immovably into that position.Stop spending your time and energy trying to change people’s minds. Find out why they might want to buy what you’re selling and let them buy it for those reasons.
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