<H1 BIG>TEN COMMON ENEMIES (3)</H1>

By Hank Trisler

Because we have been busily talking too much, we have developed,

POOR LISTENING HABITS

Annie Lebowitz wrote, "The opposite of talking is not listening, the opposite of talking is waiting."

The best salespeople talk 20% of the time and listen 80% of the time and when they listen, they listen actively, with every cell in their bodies. They lean forward. They hold eye contact, with eyes wide open (receive), rather than narrowed (transmit).

They rephrase what the customer is saying frequently and ask clarifying questions to be sure they’re hearing correctly. They make note of those items of particular interest to the customer for use later and to keep them on track.

Short questions normally get you short answers, while long questions get you longer answers. Longer answers are usually better, as the customer has to talk more to get them out. There is a problem with long questions which you may have encountered. Sometimes the customer doesn't understand them, because he wasn't listening either. He may evidence this by saying, "Huh?" Then you're going to have to revert to shorter questions to get the train back on the track.

Listening is simply not a behavior we are taught. We are taught to speak, not to listen.

• Management says: "My employees don't listen to anything I say. They should be able to do things right the first time.



• "Workers say: "If those managers would just listen to me, I have their profit up 20% in a month."



• Women say: "My husband never listens to me. He just grabs a beer and heads for the TV."



• Men say: "She never listens to me. All she wants to do is talk about the kids and her friends."



• Parents say: "Idiot kids won't listen. They have to make all the same mistakes for themselves."



• Kids say: "My folks look right through me. It's like talking to a wall. They're just not interested."

You get the idea. People are simply not used to listening, nor are they used to being listened to. If you truly, really, actually listen, you will set yourself above the mass of yammering people and learn some very valuable things in the bargain. You might even find out something about your family.

Please share with us your opinions on listening and any tips you have learned to make listening easier.